Note that as Ophidia and I are working on this debate about whether 1985 or 1999 is the superior movie year disguised as a talking trash puppet show, she had a few issues with the rough script. I did a rewrite, asked for her feedback, then did another rewrite. Here is the end result. Enjoy. I am off to listen to The Undertones. 

———–<.thom & ophi.>———–

UP LATE, LATE AT NIGHT!

Season 01, Episode 01

Act I & Act II

By Thomas Typewriter & Ophidia Operahouse-Typewriter

(c) 2020

———–<:typehouse:>———–

———–ACT I————

FADE IN

EXT. THE TRASHIPELIGO ISLANDS, EVENING

LS OF A MODEL OF THE ISLAND.

Looking upon the garbage covered isles we hear the sounds of slumber and someone murmuring in his sleep.

CUT TO…

INT. THE TRASH HOLE. NIGHT

A large cavern in the base of the Trashipeligo Island’s dormant volcano, Mount Trashuvius finds T-RASH THE TRASH GOD sleeping. His large abstract mask-like face floats over a smoking pool of sludge and magma. Surrounding him are piles of trash. T-RASH’S eyes are dimmed as he sleeps trapped in a nightmare.

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
(mumbles in sleep) “No… No.. No….”

PAN IN TO CS OF T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Don’t clean that…no. Trash is okay. We don’t need to organize. Clutter is better. Stop it. (Starts to shout in his sleep) STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT.”

B-Max and D-Vid race in. B-Max enters from stage-left while D-Vid enters from stage-right. They run over to T-Rash.

B-MAX
“Wake up your disgustingness.”

D-VID
“You’re having a nightmare, your trashiness.”

T-RASH wakes up. His eyes fully light up as he escapes out of his nightmare.

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“B-Max. D-Vid.”

B-MAX
“It’s okay now. You were just having another nightmare.”

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“It was awful. They were trying to clean the island. I couldn’t stop them. So much soap. Lemon scented everywheres.”

D-VID
“That sounds awful.”

B-MAX
“But it is all over. You are safe now. The Trashipeligo Islands are still a hot mess.”

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Oh thank goodness. (short pause) I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep right away.

Turn on the TV. Let me watch some while I calm down.”

B-Max and D-Vid exit stage right.

CUT TO LS OF TV AREA

B-Max and D-VID enter from stage-left. B-Max turns on the TV but nothing happens.

B-MAX
“It’s not working.”

D-VID
“We could try hitting it till it is repaired.”

CUT BACK TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Do that.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

D-Vid and B-MAX start to hit the set. Nothing changes.

CUT BACK TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Wait. Is it plugged in? Stop hitting it and check.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

D-Vid crawls behind the TV.

CUT TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“B-Max, go help D-Vid. You know he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

B-Max crawls behind the TV.

D-VID
“The wires are all broken.”

B-MAX
“It’s a mess back here sir.”

D-VID
“I think our hitting it might have broken it more instead of repairing it more.

CUT TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“You think.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

D-VID
“I guess we could try fixing it using whatever trash is nearby.”

CUT BACK TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Good. Do that.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

D-Vid and B-Max start to go through the trash behind the TV. We see trash being through up and away from behind the TV as they look through the piles of garbage.

D-VID
“I’ve got a bunch of soup cans and a bent coat hanger. You find anything?”

B-MAX
“Half a radio and a barrel of diet pills.”

D-VID
“Oh. We can use those. Bring them over.”

We hear CONSTRUCTION NOISES from behind the TV. B-Max pokes her head up from the back as she mounts the coat hanger like an antenna on top of the TV.

D-VID
“If I know anything at all about repairing televisions, I’d say we did it. Let’s plug it in.”

B-MAX
“The plug doesn’t fit in the outlet anymore.”

D-VID
“Maybe if we both push, it’ll go in.”

We hear the sound of D-Vid and B-Max GROANING and then a loud SPARK and a flash of light from behind the TV. The TV powers on with a weird glow.

CUT TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Hey it’s working. It’s working guys.”

CUT TO TV SET

D-Vid and B-Max fail to come back from behind the TV set.

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
(off-screen) “Guys, it’s working. You can come out. Hello. Hello.”

CUT BACK TO T-RASH

T-RASH THE TRASH GOD
“Guess they left. Well more TV for me. Let’s see what’s on.”

CUT BACK TO TV AREA

PAN IN ON STATIC…

FADE OUT

———–ACT II————

FADE IN

INT. COP CAR. DAYTIME

MS OF INTERIOR OF A POLICE CAR.

D-COP, D-Vid dressed as a cop, sits behind the wheel driving, while B-COP, B-Max also dressed as a cop, sits in the passenger seat.

B-COP
“So then I wrestled that raccoon for the last pastry.”

D-COP
“Uh huh. Wait. Check out this turkey.”

B-COP
“Pull over.”

CUT TO

EXT. STREETER STREET. DAYTIME

MS OF GIBLETS

GIBLETS, a puppet made from a kid’s school project of turkey drawing made from tracing his/her hand, is walking down the street. He does need to have an old guitar strung across his back. We hear the sound of CAR DOORS SLAMMING SHUT.

PAN OUT TO LS SO AS TO INCLUDE GIBLETS ON RIGHT AND POLICE CAR ON LEFT.

D-Cop sits on the hood of the police car while B-Cop approaches Giblets.

GIBLETS
“Hello Officers.”

B-COP
“What do you think you’re doing walking down this street.”

GIBLETS
“Just soaking up the sunshine and the positive vibes.”

B-COP
“Are you getting smart? We’ll see about that.”

B-Cop grabs the guitar from off Giblets.

B-COP
“What are you doing with this old guitar.”

GIBLETS
“Old guitar? Why’d you call it an old guitar?”

CUT TO CS OF D-COP

D-COP
“Maybe he’s smuggling stuffing.”

CUT BACK

B-COP
“You smuggling stuffing.”

GIBLETS
“Oh my gosh, it is an old guitar. It was new when I bought it. Has it been that long. No home. No wife. No kids.”

B-COP
“Wait.”

GIBLETS
“My youth, my time, I’ve squandered it. And what do I have to show for it.”
A spotlight clicks down on Giblets. The rest of the stage lighting dims

B-COP
(off-camera)”What’s going on.”

GIBLETS
“I could’a been a contender, I could of had love, could of had her…but who was looking out for me. Was it my brother. Was it her. STELLA! STELLA! STELLA!”

A loud THUNK and Giblets passes out. The stage lighting reverts back. D-Cop stands over an unconscious Giblets, with a police baton in hand.

D-COP
(to B-Cop) “And that is how you stop a turkey who’s had some bad gravy.”

The POLICE RADIO SQUAWKS. D-Cop walks over to the car and answers it. Meanwhile B-Cop drags the unconscious Giblets over to the car. D-Cop leans over, opens the driver door and leans in to answer the phone. B-Cop opens the rear passenger door and tries to tip Giblets inside.

D-COP
“Car 54 1/2 here. Over”

POLICE RADIO
(voice-over) “Sorry to spring this on you, but Judge Dee is not able to teach the driver’s education class. You’ve been reassigned. Report to Local College tonight. 6pm. Over”

D-COP
“Roger. We’ll be there. Over”

D-Cop hangs up the radio

D-COP
(dancing) “Yes. Yes.”

B-Cop slams the car door shut.

B-COP
“Why are you so happy?”

D-COP
“We’ve been reassigned to teach Judge Dee’s driver’s course.”

B-COP
“Ughhh, those classes are a pain, filled with weirdos. What’s so great about that.”

D-COP
“Guess you could say I have a case of puppy love… for the class. Puppy love for the class.”

B-COP
“Whatever.”

They get into the car.

CUT TO MS OF CAR INTERIOR

D-COP
“Oh, can we stop at the pet store. My doctor recommended I eat more dog food.”

B-COP
“What. You sure he’s a doctor cause that does not sound like something a doctor would say.”

D-COP
“Well he did have a stethoscope and accepted my insurance.”

B-COP
“Whatever. Lets just get going. This day just keeps getting worse.”

D-COP
“Oh, don’t be sad. I’ll share some of the dog food with you.”

FADE OUT